Why I Love IOWA

When it's Winter time in IOWA
and the gentle breezes blow,
about sixty miles an hour
and it's twenty-five below.
You can tell you're in IOWA
'Cause the snow's up to your butt,
and you take a breath of Winter air
and your nostrils both freeze shut.
The weather here is wonderful,
So I guess I'll hang around,
I could NEVER leave IOWA
Me feet are frozen to the ground!


*****The temps are supposed to hit 50 below zero tonight and tomorrow.

Um.... Go Hawks?

New Years slogans:

I really enjoyed my friends New Years slogan e-mailing last year. So if you guys and other various readers still check this blog lets get the slogan party rolling!
We have a little over a day to nail one down. I will start with some obvious ones:

1. Feelin' fine in '09
2. Walk the Line in '09
3. Thin on a dime '09
4. Hear those church bells chime '09 (for anyone getting married).
5. Sublime '09

Now it's your turn.

TODAY'S SMILE!

Yea! I'm smiling again!

(I found this while searching the "Splendid Table" website while I was looking up how to cook a good turkey.)

"How To Cook A Turkey"

aka "Thanksgiving Turkey for Dummies"

Step 1 : Go buy a turkey

Step 2 : Take a drink of whiskey

Step 3 : Put turkey in the oven

Step 4 : Take another two drinks of whiskey

Step 5 : Set the degree at 375 ovens

Step 6 : Take three more whiskeys of drink

Step 7 : Turn oven the on

Step 8 : Take four whisks of drinkey

Step 9 : Turk the bastey

Step 10 : Whiskey another bottle of get

Step 11 : Stick a turkey in the thermometer

Step 12 : Glass yourself another pour of whiskey

Step 13 : Bake the whiskey for four hours

Step 14 : Take the oven out of the turkey

Step 15 : Take the oven out of the turkey

Step 16 : Floor the turkey up off of the pick

Step 17 : Turk the carvey

Step 18 : Get yourself another scottle of botch

Step 19 : Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass
of turkey

Step 20 : Bless the saying, pass and eat out
Need help making a turkey seriously?

Today's Smile

Cookie Monster in Martha Stewart's Kitchen:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gT_gxpyavag

Today's Smile:

"What did the Hurricane say to the Palm Tree?"

"Hold on to your nuts this is gonna be one hell of a blow job!"

Today's Smile

I was really inspired when I read Lemme's (the school I currently work at) Daily Newsletter. Our principal is a really great guy and writes the newsletter everyday.

He asked:

"What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?"

So, I wanted to know from all of you the answer to this question. Dream Big!

Today's Smile

I laughed to myself (at a time that I needed a laugh) when I thought about that episode of Newlyweds:

"Where is the Strangest place you have made whoopee?"

"Uh.... That would be in the butt, Bob."

AAHHHH hahahahah! (*note in the image above the couple over his right shoulder!)

That one ALSO gets me every time.

ER Humor

My ER Doctor looked at my knee and said it looked like Hamburger.
I said, "I guess that makes you Hamburger Helper."
Then I joked that I would buy him a T-shirt.