Its been awhile since I actually wrote about things. I suppose life has been moving and swirling around me so much I haven't had time to sit and reflect. This blog is my oppertunity to do just that... At least that's how I started with it.
Gia had her wedding reception/party this weekend. I posed for a picture with two of my roomates from Florence. The above picture is a similar one taken about 6 years ago. It was a nice feeling but it really put a lot in perspective. I'm wearing about 30 extra pounds since those days... All the higher thoughts I was working on then are pushed out of my head by thoughts of bills, work, money, wedding, and emotional survival. I live for a bigger community of people than I did back then. My goal when I set off was to understand and gain perspective on my self. I did it, then what did I do with it... Hmmmmm...
I have good things to live for today. My love- Kent, my family- Momma, Popo, my friends and all their children who call me Aunt Katy (my heart swells when I get a smile from them), the people I work for... I love my network of people who boost me and ground me at the same time.
I think my real need is simply a creative outlet. My Momma pointed that out a week ago while we were shopping for fabric. She's right... but I don't even know where my niche is anymore in the creative world. I love talking pictures with my camera. I think that might need to be my first step. Simply to carry it everywhere. Find what images are tripping my trigger...
I'm motivated somedays by food and I know this. When I don't feel good I will eat to feel better no matter what the occasion. I need to find a healthier motivation. I need to mold my psychology away from that compulsive eating and into the healthy and active livestyle. I know the more I worry about what I'm going to eat the more I will sabotage my diet. Anyway, I have a lot to think about.... Greg Brown, one of my all time favorite musicians wrote my current favorite song. At the risk of looking like I huge dork I'm going to write down the lyrics to his song, "Worrisome Years".

And the worrisome years--over the hill
I thoght it's supposed to get easier to pay your bills
I got nothing to show but a worrisome heart
Can ya please tell me--when does the good part start?
I done like they told me, I done like I should
Ever since I started, I's trying to make good
trying to make a good life for my family
but I can't buy any stuff the kids want from TV
I think about leaving--but where would I go?
How would I get there? I don't know
I took my stand here--I don't want to roam
This old town ain't much but it's all I know of home
I look at Cheryl--she looks at me
We don't talk no more about our dreams
We don't have no fun the way we used to do
Don't be disappointed in me baby
I ain't disappointed in you
And the worrisome years--over the hill
I thoght it's supposed to get easier to pay your bills
I got nothing to show but a worrisome heart
Can ya please tell me--when does the good part start?

I think I love Greg Brown because like the artist he is he strikes that resonant chord in all our hearts when he writes those chords and those lyrics. That is the one element I have always said good art give to me.