I've spent so much of this last month in a hibernation mode. I don't know if I'm subconsciously self medicating or if I'm just plain lazy but every night I've been coming home, cooking something for Kent, settling into my knitting and my television.
Tonight I did just that once again. However, instead of just watching television I decided to rent movies. I rented "Click"- that one produced by Adam Sandler.
It hit a resonate chord with me somehow. It made me realize that sometimes we live our lives in auto-pilot and before we know it a month goes by, then a year, then five years...
The guy in the movie is so anxious to make life better for himself and his family he fast forwards through the struggle to find that he lived his whole life with only one goal in mind and missed out on love, family, and himself.
I'm 29... I'll be thirty in April.
Its not old but I find that I keep looking to the next, "what's next..." Family? Marriage? Babies? A promotion? A move?
I have parents 45 min.s away. for the first time in about 6 years. My brothers haven't lives close to their parents since about 1990. That would be 16 years.
In that 16 years we have probably spent about 4 months of it as a family. Five of us: Mother, Father, two brothers and a sister.
Every one's life is different and it is what it is. Shit, Kent lives 25 min.s from his mother and father and see them only on holidays. When its all said and done, I wouldn't have it any other way. My brother, Chris, lives a very happy life in Seattle and has a beautiful wife and daughter and lots of family to bother him on a regular basis. My brother Mike also is happily married with a hilarious and joyful son in sunny weather and has a successful career. We are all strong, capable, and complete individuals.
Mom and Pop-o have traveled the world over and have seen many wonderful things.
Pop-o wants us to take a summer vacations in the Rocky Mountains. All of us with each our consecutive families. I guess uploading all those slides to his computer has made him a little nostalgic too...
I told him that I didn't know. That Kent and I were thinking of a trip to Europe. Pop-o said, "I understand, You guys have your dreams" and I smiled.
I think Kent and I may not worry about that for now. There will always be Europe (well, maybe not Venice but Venice smells funny anyway). If everyone is willing then so am I. Who am I to argue with good timing?