Yea! I'm smiling again!
(I found this while searching the "Splendid Table" website while I was looking up how to cook a good turkey.)
"How To Cook A Turkey"
aka "Thanksgiving Turkey for Dummies"
Step 1 : Go buy a turkey
Step 2 : Take a drink of whiskey
Step 3 : Put turkey in the oven
Step 4 : Take another two drinks of whiskey
Step 5 : Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6 : Take three more whiskeys of drink
Step 7 : Turn oven the on
Step 8 : Take four whisks of drinkey
Step 9 : Turk the bastey
Step 10 : Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11 : Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12 : Glass yourself another pour of whiskey
Step 13 : Bake the whiskey for four hours
Step 14 : Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15 : Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 16 : Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 17 : Turk the carvey
Step 18 : Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 19 : Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass
Step 20 : Bless the saying, pass and eat out
Need help making a turkey seriously?