Thursday, May 08, 2008

In the tradition of my late and great Grandmother Obert I would like to make some grievances known about some things I'm not satisfied with... Dare I say it... I would like to complain.
1.) I've been skimming YOU The Owner's Manual: An insider's guide to the body that will make you Healthier and Younger when I'm not cooking, cleaning, working, walking, sleeping or breastfeeding (which is approximately once a week while I take a bath instead of cooking Kent dinner). This book includes a ten day diet which will jump start a healthier lifestyle. Here is what I would need for my kitchen in order to prepare ten days of food while on this diet:
  1. Fully stocked year round fresh herbs garden (dill, basil, thyme, parsley, mint, etc.)
  2. all sauces (all vinegars, oils, BBQ, more will be disclosed below...)
  3. all beans (kidney, garbanzo, Tuscan, black, etc...
  4. all fruits frozen and fresh (Blueberry, raspberry, plums, pineapple, apple, mandarin oranges, etc.)
  5. all whole wheat breads (English muffin, tortillas, pitas, baguettes, you name it)
  6. staples (not the kind for fixing paper together- eggs, blah)
  7. all salad greens (spinach, arugula, endive, collard greens, kale
  8. Kashi H. fiber cereal
  9. low fat soy milk
  10. Light and Fit smoothie drinks
  11. all nuts (Walnuts, almonds preferably)
  12. canned salmon, smoked salmon and salmon fillets
  13. lots of chicken in various forms (bone in and out)
  14. old fashioned oats
  15. apple cider, sauce, and juice
  16. pure maple syrup
  17. ricotta cheese
  18. silken tofu
  19. blueberry preserves
  20. limes and lemons
  21. OJ
  22. Shitake mushrooms
  23. asparagus
  24. egg whites
  25. sour cream
  26. frozen corn and whole baby corn
  27. goat cheese and feta cheese
  28. frozen yogurt (vanilla and choc.)
  29. Frozen sorbet (pineapple and strawberry)
  30. poblano chilies
  31. Onions (small, red, yellow and white)
  32. Kalamata olives and olive relish
  33. golden raisins
  34. avocado
  35. summer squash
  36. eggplant
  37. bell peppers (roasted, red, yellow, orange and green)
  38. rye bread
  39. edename
  40. cabbage
  41. sesame seeds
  42. carrots
  43. scallions
  44. fresh and pickled ginger
  45. Yukon Gold Potatoes Wax potatoes, sweet potatoes and red potatoes
  46. Turnips
  47. garlic
  48. mescadun (Huh?)
  49. radishes
  50. chix broth
  51. ww gemelli
  52. tomatoes (grape, roma, yellow and red)
  53. baby peas
  54. Romano Cheese
  55. Grey Poupon
  56. Anchovies
  57. chili garlic sauce
  58. top sirloin
  59. pea shoots
  60. broccoli florets
  61. red jalapeno chili
  62. tilapia
  63. mirin (?)
  64. lentils
  65. white and red wine
  66. shallots
  67. cucs
  68. spinach
  69. cauliflower
  70. buttermilk
  71. wasabi powder
  72. Caribbean jerk seasoning
  73. tuna steaks
  74. thin pizza crust
  75. snow peas
  76. bamboo shoots
  77. water chestnuts
  78. jasmine rice
  79. shrimp
  80. chili puree
  81. oyster sauce
  82. choc. soy milk
  83. granola
  84. frozen and fresh cranberries

OK, why don't I just buy the whole store. All this for ten days? Come on. I also recently received a Weight Watchers' cookbook that I feel pretty similar about. When I'm Oprah I will be able to eat these recipes but until then... Can we simplify for us "little people"?

My idea is for a computer program where you enter all the contents of your kitchen and it spits out a weekly menu, recipes and serving size guide for a week at a time. I think there should be a suggestions box for items for an upcoming grocery visit too. Perhaps every week it prints out your grocery list... There would have to be a monthly option on there too. My brother-in-law took it farther and thought it should hook up to your grocery cart and whenever you put a "Bad" item into your cart like a gallon of cookies and cream ice cream you get zapped with electric shock.

Deadwood : Upon reflection I have decided I am not upset about previously mentioned complaint. Although, I do think there is something to the fact that I haven't seen my friend in a year I will not hold this incident against anyone.


Mike Angie Patrick Aaron said...

All right. I will be the one to say it. Is it really that much easier to breastfeed Kent instead of cooking him dinner?

Katy said...

Oh man, Mikey (or are you Angie? I mean... Patrick?!?!?!)... You are one sicko. That's Okay, tho'... I'm glad I'm not the only one. LOL! Perhaps I SHOULD start feeding the WHOLE family that way. It would really save me a lot of time.

Chet & Gini said...

Regarding your friend - you never know what was in her mind that day. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt - and hope they do the same for me. Who knows? Maybe she had received tragic news that day, maybe she found out she can't have children. Maybe she was feeling ill and didn't want to pass on germs. If everyone judged us on the moments we were rude, none of us would have any friends.

Mike and Annette said...

I know what you mean about the food stock these 'diets' want you to have in mind. I recently tried a week long soup diet, where you add a few new ingredients to a basic soup. Even with using the staples I had at home, it cost me over $100 for a weeks worth of soup!! And the amount of ingredients I had to store or discard was unreal.

Anonymous said...

I have several friends who have ditched me since having a kid. A certain ADHD filipino girl we used to room with, an indian chorus girl we went to H.S. with. I think it IS shocking for our single, non-parent friends to suddenly see us with kids. Your friend may have just been in shock. Shilpa said she was in shock months after she saw me pregnant and everyone with their children. I remember you and I were a little freaked out when our friends had kids. I think childless, you feel your friend who is a parent is on a whole different level than you and you can no longer relate to their lives. Which is true in someway, b/c you have said how much as a mother you've changed and matured.Don't feel feel any anomosity towards her, she may relate to where you are in the future when she has a kid.:)-genevieve

Katy said...

Good Point Genevieve and Gini-
After thinking about it I think that she was probably just trying to keep her cigarette smoke off of her or something.
I will keep her in my heart;)

Anonymous said...

Good idea

Obert Life is Good said...

Just throw some burgers on the grill, grab a bag of chips and wash it all down with a couple of beers.